Confidence, the Imposter Complex, and Being Present — Tanya Geisler
One could argue that struggling with Imposter Complex is a crisis of confidence. (And while many people call it “imposter syndrome,” this is why I use Imposter Complex instead.)
Therefore, the antidote, naturally, would seem to be Unshakable Confidence.
But what does that actually mean?
Unshakeable Confidence is the kind of confidence that you can count on and that won’t quit you.
It’s not about never having your confidence waver.
To me, Unshakeable Confidence is a three-legged stool, and those three legs are Integrity, Presence, and Action.
Because the Imposter Complex has three main goals: to keep us doubting our capacity, alone and isolated, and out of action. It uses these things (through a series of lies it tells us and behaviours we fall back on) to knock our confidence down low.
Therefore the antithesis of those three goals are the three legs of the confidence stool: integrity, presence, and action.
Presence vs. isolation
One of the biggest ways the Imposter Complex batters our confidence is by striving to keep us alone and isolated.
It tells us that asking for help is for the weak, that our self-doubt is PROOF of our inadequacy, and that successful people never experience this…
All lies, by the way.
And if you struggle with showing up, with presence, you’re likely to engage in a lot of diminishment and comparison — thinking up allllll the ways you don’t stack up and not taking credit for the ways you do.
So when we suffer from Imposter Complex and those feelings of isolation, diminishment, and comparison that keep us playing small and keep our confidence low, the answer is presence.
Owning our work and our power.
Staking our claim.
What do we mean by presence?
There’s a reason Amy Cuddy wrote an entire book devoted to it…she posits that the opposite of Fear is not Fearlessness, but rather PRESENCE.
So, to me, Presence comes down to three things:
- it’s about grounding into your POWER
- it’s about knowing who you ARE and what makes you YOU
- it’s about having reverence for that sacred being that you are
It’s about placing value on what you are, WHO you are…the very things that are not fleeting. And the very things that are not outside of you, like your numbers, fans, followers, and dollars in the bank.
Presence is in knowing who you are, where you come from, and where you’re going.
It’s being rooted in your seat of power, knowing who you are (and who you aren’t). This allows us to hold the space to be wildly generous, expansive, and hold massive capacity — while still honouring boundaries.
We had a wonderful woman in one of my programs, and we all started to adopt her catchphrase, “I’m here for that.”
It was short form for I’m not here for everything, but I know what I know, and I know who I am, and I know what I’m here for.
Feel THAT presence? #ImhereforTHAT
Unmistakable and unshakeable. Impeccable, too.
- What are YOU here for?
- Are you rooted in your power?
- How well do you know your values?
- How do you practice reverence for the glorious being you are?
Owning your presence
When you own your presence you won’t just be showing up more; you’ll be showing up more as your Iconic self to create Your Impeccable Impact in the world.
You won’t ever worry if you brought your A-game… Because you’re always bringing your A game.
You won’t struggle so much with comparison because you will feel secure in yourself and your values.
And diminishment? Forget it. You will know how to celebrate yourself and practice reverence for all that you are and all that you do.
All of that will help you stabilize the stool, tell Imposter Complex to take a back seat, and show up with Unshakeable Confidence.
Because when you DO?
- You’ll be able to recover that much faster when the Imposter Complex does show up.
- You’ll ask for the invitation to the table you want to be at.
- Say yes to the speaking gig.
- Finally write the book (and land the book deal).
- Build the community.
- Plan for massive growth in your business.
- Stand up for what you know is right.
- Surround yourself with people who lift you up rather than anyone who pulls you down.
- Ask for what you need with confidence.
- Pursue impeccability — without needing to bother with perfectionism.
- Become an EXPERT in recognizing the lies Imposter Complex tells.
- Expand your capacity.
- Show up for you, for your work, for THEM, and for your soul.
- And that’s what I want for you. The world needs your PRESENCE.
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